Start with what you know
Describe concrete behaviour and impact rather than making a diagnosis. “You missed work twice and our shared account was charged” is more useful than arguing over whether someone is an addict.
Offer support with limits
You might help find a provider, attend one appointment if invited or agree on a short check-in. You do not have to absorb abuse, financial risk, repeated deception or unwanted sexual pressure.
Decide what you need for safety and what you will do if an agreement is broken.
Do not build a surveillance system
Secret monitoring and forced access can escalate conflict and obscure consent. If shared transparency is part of repair, make it explicit, time-limited and proportionate. Get professional guidance when trust has severely broken down.
Get support for yourself
A counsellor can help you process betrayal, uncertainty and boundaries without requiring you to stay or leave. If there is coercion, threats or violence, prioritize safety and contact appropriate local services.
For suicidal crisis in Canada, call or text 9-8-8. Call 9-1-1 for immediate danger.